A weekend without Goober

Anthony had left for Florida on Friday and for the first time I was in my apartment all alone... well, not the first day. Jen held me down on Friday over some frozen margaritas and talks of morenos. Then she snuggled with me in bed (ok maybe not snuggled, but Ant if you smell Victoria Secret on the sheets I wasn't involved in anything odd, that's just Jen!) Saturday we tanned and I tried to even out the peeled mess on my back, didn't work. Saturday night I attempted to support Gay Pride, but things didn't work out and I ended up at Strata with Nicole. W/o the digital camera (Anthony has it) I have no pics to show except for these which I grabbed from my promoter friend Marco (thanks Marco!) :

He caught me twice when I was looking for Nicole, she's forever missing in clubs.

Sunday I awoke in my own apartment to a non-working toilet (wonderful!) and had to troop the longest distance (two blocks) to mom's. By four in the afternoon I was finally dressed and ready to accomplish something, anything. So I went food shopping, which isn't easy when you don't have someone to help you carry the food to the car. Thank God for those little kids who always wait outside trying to make a buck by helping you load ur groceries. When I got home I cleaned and when there was nothing left to do I laid down to watch TV and realized I don't like the way it feels to not have Anthony around. Things smell different, the air feels heavier and the TV shows aren't as funny. I tried to escape my sadness by visiting Candice and Imani and while I fell in love with Imani all over again as she now kisses me on the lips, it wasn't enough to stop the missing feeling. He gets back today, thank God!

There's no such thing as bad publicity...

Onto the funny story... So, as I've been aware for years, my life is INCREDIBLY ironic. Today was no different. You've all seen some of my modeling pics, well here's a quick summary of what "modeling" I do. My photographer, Nathan (who is my photography gift from God) takes my photos at no charge with the exception of me signing a release form for him to post them on a stock photo website, and use them on his own biz cards. Said website then sells his pics without copyright. He gets pennies for them, but the main thing is exposure. Same for me, I can end up on a damn billboard. You just never know. WELL...
Last night I get an angry txt message from my gay girl friend who is suddenly mad I didn't tell her I was gay. I'm like "huh?" Granted, I find some women extremely hot but I'm nowhere near categorizing myself as such. So I call her and she barks at me and tells me to stop denying it that she saw my flyer. "My Flyer? What in the hell are you talking about?" It is at this point that she says "Holy Shit, Elle! You don't know about the flyer?" She proceeds to shout at me to get online asap and then scans and forwards me a picture. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, I chose the former. This flyer, a 4 x 6 promo card like the ones used for clubs, has one of my modeling pics with the words ALL AMERICAN DYKE airbrushed across my wifebeater (tanktop). I broke into a fit of laughs. Moreso, it turns out I'm actually on their website as well. Granted, if the pic had been completely altered and placed on something absurd or harmful I would take some kind of legal action, but the flyer was cute and the website is for an online store that sells gay items like rainbow key chains and t shirts. It's nothing crazy. And I could careless about people's sexual orientation so WHO cares. I called Anthony and my Godmother who could not stop laughing and then Nathan who said he was so thankful I take things in good humor. In the end he said he's going to contact the site and the company and asked to have my pics removed from future productions, and he will offer them a model who is gay instead. I told him to try and get some money for himself out of it. I honestly think I can write a novel about my life exactly as it's happened and NO ONE would believe it was all real. Who knows, you may just see my advertisement on the side of a building in NYC's Village sometime soon. Told ya, I'm going to be famous one way or another lol....

(P.S. I'm contemplating posting the pic of the flyer. I don't want it stolen off this site. So if anyone knows the html code to stop the copying of pictures from websites (and I know there is one) please forward it to me. Thanks!)

Let's Play Catchup...

So I gots myself this new jizob, and quite frankly I think it may be the first job out of college that I actually LIKE. Basically I'm an Exec Assistant for a VP within a prominent TV production company. I'm in the Sales area, nothing to do with the filming of the actual shows, but I'm right on up there in NYC doin' it up like a true city chic. I'm loving it...My boss says things like "She's as ugly as a buket of assholes" .. I mean, how can u NOT like working for someone as creatively funny as that? And my current trainer is also one of the funniest women I've ever come across who I think is even better at telling other people's stories than I am, GASP! Sure, it's only been the first week but you know how you catch onto a vibe and it just feels... good? Well I've caught it. The first day there I caught the screening of Bewitched. Cute film, but I'm not sure I'd spend money on it, especially not Ant's money (its SUPER chic-flick). Afterwards I was invited to an industry showcase for the Amount Boyz (who I mentioned once before in a post about the NY Latina Pageant). I swear these boys are unbelievable and will be signed very soon. At least I can say I knew them once upon a time. Here are some pics:

Marjorie came out with me:

Los, the mgr of the Amount Boyz, smiled for the camera:

And then went silly for the camera:

Ran into Sarah Hasbun - the 3rd place winner of Ms Latina NY - such a sweetie

Watching the Amount Boyz getting down on stage:

So it was QUITE an experience. Ya'll NEED to check these boys out at www.amountboyz.com

Another thing I HAVE to post, are pics of Imani AND Isaiah. Actually got those two in a room together but Isaiah is super shy. I had to promise him I would play the song "Rakata" one more time in order to get him into these pics:

I love how Imani is like "Yeah, so this pic is really about ME." (above)

Now the rest will be about her, I can only get Isaiah to stay still for so long:

I know she's too cute...

I'm not in a black hole...

I'm just trying to settle in.. it's going to take some time and then blogging I will be! I miss reading, promise to be back soon.

Three...two...one

I'm almost there... six o'clock and I say farewell to the walls of this dungeon I've been calling a job for the past year. It's not the people, it's the building (the color of mildew) and the area (extreme boonies of Queens). This time tomorrow I'll feel like I'm in some alternate reality, sitting in an office in a building in one of the busiest areas of Manhattan. That's what I get for not taking some days off in between jobs. Got to go say goodbye to some friends now.. why is this getting sadder by the minute?

Frowning...

Sometimes, kid, I just wish you were mine **sigh**...

My Xanga followers might recognize the lil fella above as Isaiah, Ant's godson. There's a long story to this thiry year old man trapped in a four year old's body, but what pains me is that I know I could give him so much more than his parents (emotionally and spiritually) , and yet there is nothing I can do about it. So for now, as people here him sing "Rakata, rakata" (reggaeton song) and say to me "Your son is too adorable" , I'll just have to settle for wishing he was.

If you wanna go and take a ride with me...

…down memory lane of South Florida trip #7, or is it 8? Who knows, but I love that place. There’s something about the way my hair frizzes up into a messy lion-like mane that makes me feel uber sexy and free. This time on my way down south (don’t get perverted on me) I brought along mom dukes and Jennifer, my once college roommate, and now great bud, a virgin to Florida entirely. Although we were nearly drowned by Tropical Storm Arlene the first two days (yes, I’m somewhat overdramatic), the last two days of beyond hot sun were all we needed to make the trip perfect. Whether we were rummaging through Old Navy for that ONE bohemian skirt, being surrounded and prodded by drunk men @ Iguanas, losing our minds and having sex talks @ Wet Willies, trying to dance on pained feet @ Bongos, trying to convince each other to dance on bars @ Las Olas, burning our backs @ SOBE, or looking for lemonades @ Hollywood- we had a damn good time. Thanks to Jen for coming out, mom for staying calm and Sira for driving up from the boonies. I love you all and you really helped me take a break from my recently hectic life. Shall we do it again? Of course you know I have pics!

 

Mom, Jen and I getting ready to catch some grub at El Rinconcito (sp?). I have no idea how to spell it but the Cuban food was damn good.

 

Sira met up with us and we got ready for Iguanas.

 

Quickly we were in buzzed mode (Jen u can bitch all u want but if I take out all the pics u don’t like I won’t have any to show =oP )

I can’t help it if everyone tries to jump into my pics… I have no idea who this guy is and why he was all up in the camera.

Party girl found a dance partner.

 

And I danced with Mr. Invisible. Jen danced with a chair, but she won’t let me post that pic (damn her!).

 

The cousins cozy up on a comfy couch. I think it’s obvious we look like cousins, but could we really pass for twins? That’s what one guy in the club asked me. What was worse was he pointed at all THREE of us and asked if we were twins. Yes, THREE. So sad, I can’t deal with people that stupid.

The following night found us at Bongos, giving the crowd a taste of our bongo playing skills (sure).

 

We were better at playing genies in a bottle.

 

 Jen and I held it down at the bar.

 

Caught mom reading my Dirty Girls Social Club book while @ SOBE. “Elle, Lauren sounds a lot like you. Do you write about me like she talks about her parents?” Umm….err….

 

These were the “before they were burned” pictures.

 

Not sure if you can tell how red I am in that pic.

 

Getting ddddrrrruuunnnkkkkk @ Wet Willies. I’ve learned I have no control of my mouth and what comes out of it.

 

Poor thing.

 

Georgy Porgy… yeeeaaaaa Jen.

 

But in the end, she’s still my woman.

 

And finally, getting ready for our departure back to life… “or something like it”.

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

...and heading to sunny Florida, or I would like to imagine that it's sunny, but in all reality I've heard the weather down there has been shitty-- G-R-E-A-T! I'll be back on Monday with stories to tell I'm sure, BUT there is one thing I have to share first...

What happened yesterday...

I've kept silent about something I've been pursuing b/c I didn't want to jinx myself but now I can finally say it .. I GOT A NEW JOB!!! IN NYC!!! AND IT PAYS A LOT MORE!! What this also means is that I can finally start taking acting classes in preparation for an audition (for an awesome part ;o) ) I hope to have in the future.

What will I be doing? I'll explain later when I know for sure myself, but it's something in the range of an executive assistant. During the interviews I was being loaded with so much information that those speaking to me starting sounding like the adults in Charlie Brown: "advertising sales..wah wah wah.. event planning.. wah wah wah." But, don't tell my future boss that. It's okay. I can do this. I can do anything that doesn't involve brain surgery. I'm nervous as hell but I'm not scared.

As I rode home on the Express bus to SI, I had the following thoughts (besides being utterly excited and proud of myself): They say the models you see in fashion magazines only exist as 1% of the population, well I guess that 1% lives in NYC. I must have seen at least 6 model type women on Broadway. Would I want to look like them? NEVER IN MY LIFE. The idea of being that much skinnier than the average size man scares me. How do they defend themselves? I like me, I like me a lot (for now.. catch me in a few months when I'm hating myself for some reason lol).

So readers.. I'll blog you Monday!

Old Friend.... New Friend??

After spending endless minutes cursing at Staten Island traffic, I arrived at Staples to pick up a portfolio. As I entered the store I quickly became aware of a familiar looking young, Chinese woman who I suddenly realized was my best friend from high school. You would think I would run over to her in a fit of screams and giggles, but that's not what happened. Instead, I had a sudden interest in Post It notes and dipped into aisle two. I felt sweat begin to bead at my forehead, my heart started pulsing rapidly. What was my problem? Well first off, although we were the closest of friends for 4 years, H.S graduation was really the end of our friendly courtship. Without exaggeration I can say I have not spoken to her since the moment I stepped out of my high school and said good-bye to its Catholic walls. A lot happens to people in six years, a lot changes. And I feel like there are people who enter our lives, sometimes intensely, but are only meant to be a part of it for a short timespan. She was one of those people.
So there I was, staring at rainbows of sticky paper when I finalized that I did not want to have the fake conversation, you all know what I'm talking about (especially women). It's when your voice suddenly becomes high pitched because you're faking excitement of seeing someone when in reality if your friendship was that meaningful it never would have washed away. What's worse is you traditionally have to exchange phone numbers with this person and "stay in touch", even though you have nothing to say to them because you're not who you were when you used to know them. They have now become a stranger to you and why go through learning about them all over again?
I came to the conclusion that I had to leave the store unnoticed, so I went to the farthest cash register, with a standing case blocking any view, paid for my items and rushed outta there like the place was on fire.
And the irony of it all is that I'm sure she was going through the same thing the whole time.. so much to just avoid people..

Sometimes all you need is family...

From the post before you can see my mind has been in a million places at the same time over the past couple of weeks. It hasn't stopped BUT I did get some time this weekend to just kick back with a family I love and friends who I'm not sure I could live without. Picture time!

So Marjorie and I decide that it is too damn hot to not take advantage of the sun. With bikinis ready we hit up my mom's backyard. However, Marj decided to be shy with the camera (since when I don't know) and I only have this lounging pic of myself:


Anthony calls that bikini my gay pride bikini ;o)


Ah ha! There she is (Marj) on the phone with Erick, GASP! What a surprise.


Anthony and his parents waiting for the food.


So he took the initiative to play chef. (Look at my man's rippling abs- SEXY! Good job at suckin in the gut babe, I won't tell anyone - promise!)


Mom lookin hardcore tough with Roberto.


My granny! She's just cute! (On the other hand I look like shit lol)


But no one looked more ridiculous than Ant in his red socks (in 90 degree weather) and me with my too high wrestling-looking shorts. We're retarded, you don't have to tell me this.


There goes Ms. Ham, back for pics!


Ant has a thing for being in the middle.

Now if any of you are under the impression that I'm cut out to be some kind of celebrity you have yet to understand the power of Ms. Imani.

Imani: "Excuse me as I enter the room please!"


Imani: I said no pics!


Imani: Come at me again and I'll beat you with my bottle!


Imani: Oh the paparazzi, can't live with them, can't live without them!

I swear she says all that, but no one seems to understand her but me. Oh well!